Cover picture by Mohamed Hassan via Pixabay
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You will have gathered that I’m now just over 3 months into recovering from my total hip joint replacement. In my previous post, A Happy Hipster? I described the privations of a patient in the early stages of recovery, along with the gadgets I was using. Gradually, over time, the exercises became easier, I was able to walk more comfortably, didn’t need as many painkillers, slept better, was able to dress myself unaided, etc..
We’d arranged for our bathroom to be totally refurbished on what, for me, was Day 15. The days of breakfast pampering by Jane came to an abrupt end, as we needed to be ‘up and doing’ by 8 a.m.. So it was back to cooking boiled, fried or scrambled eggs on toast. And on Day 27 the work was completed. Next step – painting and wallpapering. Jane painted, our son Tim fitted our new blind and applied gloss coat to the door, and I insisted I could wallpaper. We only had a small section to do, and the strips were relatively short…It looks beautiful, and it’s a real pleasure taking a shower.
Day 35 was a huge milestone. My course of blood thinners was completed, so now I could enjoy my first pint of proper ale. I chose Tetley’s Cask, and it tasted fabulous! And then on Day 42 came my visit to the consultant, who thought I was making excellent progress. I could drive and cycle once again and could relax the rule that I mustn’t raise my thigh above the level of my hip. Now I could crouch down to plant tulips and pull weeds!
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So, everything was hunky-dory, then. Yes, it was, for precisely 4 days. I was sitting at my laptop hosting the start of a Zoom meeting, when my phone rang. Jane had tripped over in town and had a suspected broken wrist. You can guess the sequel. Jane was looked after by several very kind passers-by. The paramedics examined her and straightaway took her to hospital. I arrived shortly afterwards and we spent most of the day there. 7 mini-appointments; a plaster cast, then an operation. Screws and a plate, arm in a sling. And I was now a carer! Seven weeks later I still am, although Jane is gradually regaining the use of her left arm.
And that bit of wallpapering I did? Unfortunately, I’ve done my left hip a mischief by standing too long in a single position. I forgot that, because I was taking painkillers, my body couldn’t warn me that I needed to move. Now I’ve got a soft tissue problem known as Greater Trochanteric Pain Syndrome (GTPS) and – unlike when I was a young man – it doesn’t just go away. So now my good leg’s my bad leg.
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After my consultant’s appointment I was referred to physio Jan’s exercise class for hip patients at the same hospital (The Spire at Elland). Jan begins by throwing soft balls to us to throw or to bounce around the room to each other, sometimes having 5 balls whizzing around in different directions between the 5 of us. It’s great fun! When she deems us fully warmed up, we do our circuit training; this includes the example I started with. Other delights include stretching/striding across the room between markers; walking along a line pretending to be on a tightrope; balancing on your operated (in my case, right) leg and throwing a ball against a wall, then catching it.
I told Jan my tale of stupidity and she prescribed a truly evil exercise to help with my left hip GTPS. It really does work; my challenge is to be diligent, as I have to set aside 30 minutes each day to torture myself.
So, here’s trusting 2026 will see both myself and Jane making a full recovery. I hope you and others can benefit from my self-inflicted ‘interesting experience’ and avoid doing likewise!
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Here’s a little tale to end with. The morning after Jane’s accident was Remembrance Sunday. I was still using a walking stick (the purple one), as shown on this picture taken with my friend Rod, who is a Yorkshire dialect expert. We were caught on camera and entered in our church’s December magazine for the caption competition. The winning entry is:
“Ey up John, ‘ow we goin’ t work this un aht, sumb’dy’s dropped a fiver and n’er of us can bend down t sam it up.”
I’m determined not to have one foot in the grave – yet!
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